What really IS a reinvention of one's self? I like how Wiki How puts it:
"Reinventing yourself doesn't mean taking baby steps to become a slightly different person -- it means diving into a new and improved version of yourself head-first. Truly reinventing yourself, whether you want to change your career, your outlook, or the way you view your relationships, is hard work, but it pays off tenfold. If you want to reinvent yourself, you have to make a game plan, address your flaws, and never stop learning."
Part of this I find very true. A new and improved person and one that dives in to it. Making plans for the future, well yes, to a degree. Although I prefer to live in the moment more now and enjoy every second possible that I can as a good and kinder person. But it is true that we need to have some future planning. Then there are the small changes we wish to make. These can small to us but enormous to others. Here is where I have concentrated my efforts over the last five years. The first change was in leaving behind a religious organization that had been a part of my life since age six and had really become a large monkey on my back. In 2008 I made this decision to leave and have not looked back. It was a monumental turn in my life and is largely responsible for making me who I am today. The reasons I did so are not really valid here and I won't divulge them unless asked privately. But let's just say that the hold and control it had on me and my life was strangling, keeping me from being the REAL James.
Secondly, I changed my name from it's diminutive of "Jim" back to the proper and full name of James. Seem small or insignificant? Not to me, as a man of Scottish,English and Welsh descent. It's action indeed changed the way others addressed me. Yes, some still call me by the former,especially if they have not seen me for years. And that is fine. But my full legal and three named address is used now.I feel so much better using it.
Staying motivated after making the changes was an issue for me. I always have craved learning new things but tend to get bogged down and lose interest. This time I was determined to find something that would lead me daily in bettering myself, in becoming a changed man. And one day in Powell's Books I ran across a book about mindfulness,love and compassion. This book was written by the Dalai Lama, a man whose works I was forbidden to read while within the previous religious faith. I devoured it like a starving man. I didn't expect to become a Buddhist like the Dalai Lama nor to even read much more. But I read all I could get my hands on. And I learned so much in those first few months that it really changed me and my thought patterns. I really changed as a person with more concern for others and not my own self. For peace, love, compassion and mindfulness. And to NOT judge any others.
These were NOT words that I was taught growing up. I demanded more knowledge and dove right in. In addition to learning as much about this as I could, I did it while advancing my running and general healthiness. This kept me motivated and as my body got stronger, so did my mind and heart. I LEARNED so much more in those first five years and continue to now.
So the start of my own reinvention had occurred. I was now changing in so many ways and with better, more valuable paths ahead of me. I started each and every day with a renewed sense of joy and outlook. Before, it was one of dread that each day I might not measure up to others standards and make it to a future life. Ugh. Now I would not be worried about such things. I would enjoy and love this life I have as well as all of the people therein.
The years of 2012 and 2013 were by far the most incredible with amazing events enriching my life. In 2014 I continue to change. This year, I started to grow a beard, yet another experience that was verboten in the past belief. Yes, strange as it sounds, it was not allowed. Now, I'm free to grow one. I did this for 60+ days and regretfully shaved it off about four weeks ago. Now, I'm 14 days back into it and am loving the return of the facial reinvention. It has been invigorating and illuminating for sure. I can actually disappear in a city I've lived in for almost thirty years and not be recognized. Not that I WANT to be unnoticed but it does give one a sense of starting over in a new city or state.
As many of my friends also know, I started to have some tattoo work done as well. This was a no-no as well in the past and I indulged deeply with a LOT more ink than I ever dreamed I would. And today I realized a goal of having a new face inked on my body. One that has taught me many things and to become a more balanced person in this world today.
This kind and gentle face of Buddha does not make me a Buddhist. Not at all. It DOES show my respect for the Buddhist philosophies I have taken to heart as well as the mindfulness and meditation that I can call my own.
Reinvention?? We all do it at sometime in our lives and even more than once. Some reinvent every decade or less. As for myself, I will be constantly changing and bettering myself at each possible chance. Why go backwards when forward is so much healthier and joyful?
This reinvention of mine is always going to be a work in progress and will never be complete, only time periods of inactivity as life happens.
Namaste and peace to all of my family and friends. __/|\__
P.S.---- No Welsh or running in this blog post. I think there have been way too many posts with those subjects alone and promise to change and blog about other things as well. Not a guarantee but I can at least give it my best shot. :-)
