April and beyond...

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                                                       Today marks the last day of March and the beginning of some delightful times ahead. The last six months have been a wild ride of highs and lows which are not the type of roller coaster one likes to be on. Car wrecks,sickness,money issues,etc. They all lead to more stress and needless worry. This is where I have failed in sticking to my Buddhist and meditative studies as well as mindfulness. not they had disappeared but I simply didn't practice much and for that am sad.

                                                         Yet the great thing about life and new starts is exactly that...we always have a do over. :-) And April ,well rather right now, my do over has started, There are many parts of this outline and they include adjustments to meditative time, more running/walking meditation, Buddhist philosophical study, reading, music playing and dietary changes. The latter is crucial after the last six months of weight gain and a bit of lackadaisical attitude. Hoping to drop twenty pounds if possible and most of all, get my mind back to where it was before.

                                                 Less of the daily stress and more of this?

Or maybe more of this:

Yep. Unplug in some ways. Spend more time inside my heart and mind and not on media, TV, etc?

Tough thing to do all at once but I will give it a slow try.

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Next week will mark a turning point in my life. I'm not going to reveal the details just yet as I want things to be in place before doing so but it will change me in many ways yet also affirm some things already known to some. I shall leave it at that and will announce it on here and Facebook on Tuesday, April 5th in the afternoon. Till then, have a great weekend!!

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Guilt and life's changes.

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                                                                As the year moves on and schedules, work and experiences change our outlooks on life, we sometimes discover things that might have seemed impossible previously. And if we all had a crystal ball for future events, none would use it for bad things but positive events and riches, health,etc. Either way, life hits us in various ways with it's fists,slaps or the much appreciated hugs and kisses. Sometimes love and passion visit and those are glorious times indeed. No matter what block of years we are living, sometimes that proverbial light bulb turns on and we simply "get it" or understand our situation in the river of time. After all, we only have so many years to live this current life here. For me, a few moments this year can be called such understandings.

                                                 The primary one involves my running. No need to go into my running history nor the last few years of dealing with health issues, primarily psoriatic arthritis and sciatica. Add the aging process and it's been a more difficult thing to do , getting progressive as well. Like most runners I know, especially the competitive ones, it is difficult to stay inside, to heal or to deal with any health issues that involve our beloved running. Over the last two years I have watched and felt my mileage and speed drop as the body adjusts to the above mentioned issues. Not easy, I assure you. And the guilt....oh the guilt. Yes, there is guilt associated with this, for sure. How, you would ask?  This should come as no surprise to a runner: guilt at NOT getting out to run, not racing and NOT going to social events. Ok, perhaps there are some who just don't feel guilt at not running, but damn, I sure do. If I don't get out for a run, I feel horrible. I feel like I'm completely letting my body, soul and psyche down. Letting my friends down when I'm not at a group run or event. Sad and pathetic ,isn't it?

This is what I feel when I don't run. When I don't cycle. When I don't DO SOMETHING. The sad part is that I'm also hurting physically when this happens, it not only being an emotional or psychological effect, How in the hell does it happen!! I have been laid up with an injury that took me out for a month or two and I physically couldn't run. Those are bad but at least easier as I couldn't run. But when I CAN run yet suffer when doing it, the problem is so different. Hence the quandary I have found myself in.

Guilt? Yep. So, this leads to a lot of soul searching, of making internal decisions that one can shout out or keep personal,silent. You all know me...silence is not something I'm good at. I chatter, blabber and talk a LOT. So sure, the pain and problems I have been facing are out there. So, where does this lead me?                                            

                                                            Right to this point...now...here.


I'm slowing down when a lot of my friends and running pals of the same age are speeding up. That is tough to watch. I will be fifty years old this year and I'm totally loving life for the most part. But the running is starting to catch up to me and I'm simply not able to be as fast, run as far nor to be at all events. It hurts too much or is not at a time I can go. Hence...guilt.  But my light bulb moment has arrived and this blog post is part of the coming-to-terms with it aspect. I need to let that guilt go.
Need to tell myself that it is OK to NOT run when it hurts. To not be so conscious of my weight and concerned if I can't run a half marathon at a particular time or hit a 7:50/pace (not often any more at all). Just to let it go.

                                            Be happy I'm running and doing as well as I am.


                                            Be happy I have the desire to do so.

                                       
                                 Be happy for the medals,wins,paces,mileage,records and things achieved.                                                                  

                                            And to just not be so guilt ridden when I don't run, don't get out. Enjoy the things I do inside or in other aspects of my wonderful life, such as music, history, heritage and family,


                     For goodness sake Seumas...get over it!!  Others don't seem to have this hang up.

                                      This now being said, typed and out there....I shall try much harder.

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                                             And to close this I will say that there is some news coming up in a few weeks that is big for me. Some know what it is and it's a bit of old news. Some won't care, some will and others just think of it as a non issue. So when that day comes, I will announce it. Till then, be assured that life is grand, going to get better and little will stop me from being positive,happy and proud to be who I am:                
                                                            Seumas Dòmhnal Ross


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Spring arrives!

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                                     Hard to believe the last post here was in late January. So an update is in order for the last month and a half, for sure. Fortunately, all has been rather good. The last of the car accident nonsense has been taken care of and all loans,settlements and paperwork is complete,allowing us to put these accidents behind us. The new car is running great and no issues to report, making the upcoming spring and summer's travel plans something to really look forward to!                  This car is a beauty and it's the best car I have ever owned! Complete package!

At 30,000 miles, it is barely broken in and runs so smoothly. Needless to say, I'm over protective of this car after the last year of automobile accidents inflicted on my cars by others. Moving on...

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                                        Primary focus the last two months has been getting my Welsh language skills back to where they were in early 2014 and 2015. This time I have fully immersed myself by tackling not only Say Something in Welsh again but also Duolingo, an online language learning program that is a delight to use. I'm currently on level 7 with Duolingo and lesson 6 on SSIW. Sure, it is taking time to get back to the point I was at but I'm doing this at a slower pace and not rushing things, keeping myself from burning out and giving up..No matter what, I seem to always return to it and learn when I can. Also trying to get the Portland/Vancouver Welsh group back on track if possible and have some meetups. Been able to find a few Welsh speaking Facebook friends though no real practice as so few are chatty on that form of social media, so I need to find a daily Welsh chat pal. What is cool is that Dena has decided to learn some Welsh with me and for that I'm grateful! <3

*********************************************************************************Running season has started! Though I will admit I'm a bit cautious of this years running and going to be reevaluating my various goals for the year and where I fit in to the grand scheme. This year I was accepted as a Fleet Feet Ambassador and am volunteering some time to promote the company and their races, events and products. I have always liked Fit Right/ Fleet Feet and been shopping there since I started running back in 2008, so this makes for a nice change. 

In addition to the Fleet Feet news, I was able to run the Fort Vancouver 12k to start the season, and was happy with the results. This time I went out slower and kept my pace at 8:50/mile or so instead of the fast 7:40 I seem to run, which always makes me tired so quickly. I might finally be learning!

Enjoyed a great race and afterwards the rain and storm hit us, drenching everyone! Next up: The Blooms to Brews Half marathon in Woodland! Am I ready for a half marathon right now? Honestly, no. I have almost a month to prepare and get the body ready for this so I have confidence. I've gained some weight over the winter and NEED to lose about 20 lbs or so to be back to preferred running size. It's a question of keeping the carbs low and THAT is not easy.  I LOVE my breads,pastas and carbs! I did make a promise not to drink any beer till April 1st so that is helping . I think. :-)

That is the update for now!! Have a great March and will be back here soon!

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