As we age, our perspectives and lives change. For some it is in small amounts and doses where for others...completely different. Still, we retain some of the former life and interests as we explore new horizons and experiences. Mine has been no different. In my previous blog post it was mentioned how my religious upbringing and it's array of regulations kept this boy, and then man, from really being himself. No real detail was given as to what happened nor what experiences led to my leaving and becoming a free individual. And many details shall always remain private and locked within this heart and soul.
But many can and will be revealed as we age. This is the junction I now stand at in my life and one that causes me no stress nor worry. I have become fully open and honest in all of my life's details for the most part and don't mind who knows what. It simply makes one incredibly relaxed and happy knowing that friends, and family hopefully, are all there for who we are and not for what they WANT us to be.If there are those who take offense to what I do or don't agree with it, they have full right to cease from associating with me and moving on. Fortunately, most of those I know have not done this and are still around. A few have left though and even though they are family members and former religious friends, I respect their decision and wish them well in all endeavors. How do we as humans move on from that?
Some do it well and others fall apart. This is where I feel so badly for my friends who have gone through such things and lose the support structure of those who had been there for years, perhaps their entire lives. This is a sad situation and one that should never happen. When it does, I hurt with them.
What makes such things happen? Divided households that rely so much on either political or religious thought that it truly gets in the way of love for one another. No elaboration is needed as every circumstance is different and this post need not become a spark for debate nor argument . But it happens daily if not hourly in this country,even world, and I hope someday it stops.
As a 47 year old Buddhist-Christian bisexual man with an incredible polyamorous family, I have for sure encountered many negative reactions in the last six years of my life. But, on the flip side, I have received and rejoiced in more love and friendship than I did in the previous 35 years. Yes, you read that right. Later on I shall elaborate more on those previous years. But right now I shall just mention that the former life I had in a very conservative religious organization was not all negative nor was I kept "in" physically. But it could sure feel like it when threatened with expulsion and to never see nor talk to those friends and family. A choice had to be made:
Be myself and who I have been since I was able to comprehend thoughts or follow along with things I didn't believe in and spend my life on this planet thinking I was superior to everyone else because I as in the "right" religion. That was not what I was taught from the sacred books we read nor from the incredible individuals they talk about and glorify. Those men and women had more love and understanding. Things had changed and now God's fan club here on this planet had changed the game plan. So we left.
This is what it felt like:
Those images speak volumes on their own and I won't elaborate on them. My readers here are very intelligent and understand fully what is implied. Why has it taken me six years to write about this? At first I didn't want to keep it in my thoughts. I wanted to get far away and not have it be part of my life. Now that I'm stronger and have no fear of them taking anything away from me, the time has come to embrace my new life even more fully. To love every person I can.The heart can NEVER be fully filled with love. There is always room for more as it is a renewable resource.
This is one of many reasons why we are a poly family and fall in love with the PERSON, not the gender. All of us feel this way and that has been known by most friends and family for years now. It is on our Facebook profiles and the way we are. This is the 21st century and should not a puritan and oppressive society. So, there it is. A little bit more about us and who we are. This blog is primarily about me, James , but proudly I have this family and they are indeed part of me. I wanted to include them in my post.
That's it. An outpouring of sorts that will possibly upset some or make them run from me on Facebook and other pages. Hopefully not. Life is fluid and always changing. Embrace it and love your fellow humans as much as possible.
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