Beards...
Most on my Facebook and Instagram accounts know all about my latest journey on the bearded path and how I have accepted a challenge to grow it until six months have passed, that being March 25th of next year. The only other time I have grown a beard was way back in 2013 in November, growing for a few months and then shaving it, only to grow it again. I never seemed to get past sixty days of growth and I would shave it off, usually because I thought I looked horrible with it or...too old!
After that experiment , I knew it would be awhile before I growing a beard as I KNEW it was going to come in a lot whiter than before. Did I want to look older and be seen as an "old man" or was that just my own insecurities of being a middle aged male in America? :-) Was it due to a lifetime of being told by my religious upbringing that beards were bad and we as men should not grow them as we would look "worldly" or "dirty? There is a LOT of that which made it's way to my brain and manner of thinking, unfortunately. So when I had the chance to try this out, to grow the natural whiskers that God gave me..I did. Not just the moustache, which I had been growing since my mid teens but a REAL BEARD! I never could understand why, religions especially, forbid the beard but were always OK with a moustache or sideburns. After reading this delightful book...
Then a lot more became clear and with continued reading and research. Highly recommended!
So, after my experiment with the beard in 2013-2014, growing it for a total of ten weeks, I shaved it off. There were a few reasons I did this, mostly that as a runner and marathoner it was an uncomfortable addition to my face. Here is what I looked like with no facial hair at all in November of 2018.
So I shaved it and didn't consider growing it back until I was past the age of fifty. Then, this year, I decided I'd start one on Sept 25th. Various phases of this beard did as before, from itching to a scruffiness look to fleeting moments of indecision as to whether to continue. But, this time was different. After six weeks, I noticed a change and feeling that was NOT there back in 2013. I was now part of a community, a circle, a kinship of other men that was special.
Ok, sure...it sounds a bit corny and possibly laughable to some . But, we ALL belong to some type of social, religious, cultural or ethnological group and tribe. Now, I was a member of the bearded community and this was more special than I ever anticipated.
It was then I felt a part of something other than a hobby or interest...it was a PART of me! This hit me at week six most especially and made me more determined than ever to see this six month beard grown and to accept, even thrive during this journey. How would I feel, what would I feel and how did it change me, if it would at all? On to what I looked like before the beard . This is what my moustache and small chin whiskers looked like a month before.
In a way, I did have head start. The chin whiskers were there but not a full beard by any means. Admittedly, I did like the look and the upkeep was super simple. My hair was a lot more upkeep but I truly didn't and don't mind the whole shaving/facial/self care aspect of being a man. That actually is a beautiful and positive aspect for sure.But I wanted more! The thousands of years of human beards before me simply called out and wanted to be heard! I knew it would change my appearance drastically and people would certainly talk, smile or laugh. I simply didn't care! Accept this challenge, I told myself, and let's give it till march 25th.
By week six, I was definitely feeling the itchiness of the newly grown hairs and the scruff that had now appeared. Still, I was getting some nice comments and continued to read, research and dive into beard culture and life. Yes this such a thing and it is HUGE ! More on that later. Here is my mug at week six...
As seen, the pointing aspect is certainly a Van Dyke style and I liked this! But the sides had not really grown much and they had yet to show themselves. Yet I felt I was already part of this tribe of beards and with that came different feelings regarding my own psyche and internal wrestling. How far did one need to grow a beard to be a "part" of this community and did it really matter? Onward to week number ten and eleven and it has now filled out a LOT more!
<<<<<<<Week Ten
Week Eleven>>>>>>>
Now the beard was finally at a point where things had changed a lot. My looks had dramatically changed and yes, I certainly looked older than my 53 years. This was one of the aspects i did not want to deal with in years past, especially as a runner and athlete. I wanted to stay youthful in appearance and manner, to be viewed as still younger, virile and not as an old geezer. What a horrid viewpoint indeed! My thinking had and has changed in so many ways, though. I have now embraced this beard and consider it a major part of me, how I am seen by the world and myself. This took some getting used to and required a lot of social exposure and meditation. Today marks twelve weeks, three months since the beard was started and this is the most current photo shows it gaining some depth and fullness.
My round face is quite the base for this whiskery forest and on this three month date, feels great!
I started upkeep and conditioning this foliage with beard oils but now am leaning towards balms instead. Also, I have been blending my moustache into the beard instead of waxing the ends to keep the curl. That will get there eventually and when it is a bit longer, i will add occasional curls to that.
Half way through this adventure of hirsuteness and there are so many aspects to it, where do I start.Well...here I go with that.
1: Having had a handlebar moustache on and off for many years, I knew about and competed in competitions in various places, winning some even. I never saw myself having a beard due to the above noted reasons and that I probably would never grow one. After leaving the religious nonsense behind (all due respect to my religious friends), I now had the ability to do so, to grow naturally what was forbidden.That was the first positive aspect of this place and time. Nobody I had to answer for but ME!
2: As I had the genes and ability to grown such a beard, it was within my own arena to do this and therefore nothing health wise could keep me from trying!
3: Community. I was now part of a community of bearded men (and a few women) who shared the ability and desire to grow and let things go naturally. This social community is HUGE and worldwide, of course. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and the regular Web all contained groups and pages dedicated to beards and growing, to the history of and to maintaining the beard. This made it so much fun on a daily basis. I have also made a lot of new friends and chat pals, even a few penpals!
This is a most valuable part of growing , in my opinion. That constant social interaction and positive motivation does wonders for us all, no matter what group we are in! These are vital!
4: Partners, spouses, lovers et al. having the positive admonition and feedback from our loved ones, whether platonic or not, is HUGE! Hearing that the beard looks great, is sexy or attractive, or knowing that it does not detract...that is of immense importance. Not that everyone has to like it, not at all. There will never be a time where 100% will be happy or pleased, and there will always be a critic or someone who does not like it. Fair enough. It is accepting that and not letting it affect us, or make us cut it, shave it.
5: Spirituality. Yes, there certainly is a spiritual aspect to growing a beard. Whether it is due to letting nature take it's course or whether the beard plays a role in pious outlooks, our own spirituality can be affected and this was what happened to me as well. Not sure how to describe this but I know that the beard makes me feel whole, that I'm not shearing away something given to me as a gift and that my beard can be a positive reflection of my own spiritual direction. being a Buddhist, this is not normally an issue but we all make our own paths within the spiritual realm and this beard has added to my own journey.
6: Transformation. Sure, physically I am the same man I was a decade ago when I started on a new path of life and understanding, knowledge and evolution. But knowing that the beard has changed my appearance and made me a lot more incognito has proven to be a positive and special thing. Walking past people I knew for twenty or thirty years and not getting any reaction nor hint at whom I was...very enlightening in some ways . For many, this might seem sad in some ways. but letting go of that past and moving on has been of great value to me and this look makes it a lot easier to do so.
As the beard grows and my face retreats a bit more into the furry forest, it will be interesting to note how my feelings change and what aspects affect me.
Well, there you have it. I have wanted to post about this but figured the three month mark would be a good starting point and one where I could ascertain my own feelings in a better way. Thank you for reading this post and undertaking my adventure with me! I most especially thank my sweethearts and friends/family in their positive attitude and constant reinforcement while I grow, both in follicles and in an evolutionary way . I'm not only growing, but learning about myself daily and becoming the man I had once hoped I'd be. Took many years to get here but I'm loving the outlook and future ahead!
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