Balancing the mind and heart.

************************************************************************************

                          Something has been missing over the last three or so months.
Life in general has been a delight and I cannot and should not complain. But, there are some dynamics that have been missing and that need to be addressed. They pertain to balance. You know, that soul searching and meditative balance that we all have and need. The balance that keeps our tempers from overflowing, our words in check and from embarrassing us at most times of the day. It also motivates us to love and remember that we should not be so lopsided. Well...mine has disappeared. I had it...for awhile. And I KNOW what I was doing to get there and maintain it.

                                                                    Fortunately, I have been able to mix and maintain the above listed aspects in my life. My career was over back in 2010 and I don't want to work full time again. My debts are zero now after working hard to pay them off. Life is simple for us and keeping it that way makes life a much happier activity. So why unbalanced? What did I STOP doing ?

                                                              I let life and the world around me unbalance me. Let it push me back to where I was pre-2008, when life changed for me forever. When I started to meditate and look to other forms of wisdom, ideas and non-confining rules from imperfect men who want to control me. This was when life started to balance out. Mindfulness, awareness and seeing others as fellow humans that I could LOVE, not to judge them as I was taught. No, I was not educated to judge them, but I WAS told I was special as I was among a chosen belief and that they would all perish and I would not. Ugh. I would have none of that any longer. I left. best move I have ever made.
      

 I washed away those years of unhappiness and became balanced right away. A huge weight was lifted and I began to really see where I had gone wrong.


I started to study more about human compassion, about love and psychology, about the way we interact and live with others. And I learned a LOT.




  Then, life started to crowd out those balancing tools. I had veered from the path of mindfulness and non-aggression. It reminded me of this...

“An old monk who’d spent twenty years in Chinese prisons in Tibet came to see the Dalai Lama in India. During the conversation, the Dalai Lama asked him if he’d been afraid during his long imprisonment, which had been interspersed with torture and brainwashing. The monk replied, ‘My greatest fear was to lose my love and compassion toward those who were torturing me.’”

                                                                     THIS...THIS was a story that touched me. The man above was not that same monk but the compassion that this fellow sentient being is receiving is something we should ALL have for one another.  This was part of my balance. I had learned to love others better, to behave with more compassion and kindness. Alas, I was losing this in my day to day life as I had ceased practicing daily meditation and inward examination of the heart and mind. Concentrating way too much on other things, hobbies, electronic devices and getting from point A to point B. Fortunately, the loves of my life, the sweethearts I adore more than anything, showed me I was not the same from a few months previous. I had known of a problem and of something missing, but was blind to some of it. I needed something to stir my heart again, to budge me back towards that light, and this evening, on 20 September,2014, a small sign that I was on the right path, occurred.

I'm not one to look for signs or omens in life. But tonight was interesting. At a used book store, I saw a book I had wanted to read for ages by Jack Kornfield, a leading Buddhist author. I have some of his other books and audio works, all remarkable. So, I buy the book for $3.99 and head out.
What happens when I open the book...a $20 bill falls out. It had been left in the book by the previous owner, apparently in 2010 as that was when it was purchased in Colorado.Therefore, I MUST READ THIS BOOK NOW! Never had such a thing happened to me. Coincidence? Possibly. But...why not

a sign that I need to balance myself once again. Why not see it as a positive other than the money.

 

 This was something I was going to use as a pointer towards getting back that compassion and balance. 

3and that money...will be used to further my balancing. What that may be, I don't know. It is a special bill and will be kept for that right moment when I feel a pull in the right direction, whether as a donation to a homeless individual or whatever calls out.

So, from here today forward, it is going to be my goal. Get that back. Be calmer, less negative, more mindful and loving to those around me.

I give thanks to all who have noticed these changes and told me. Who are not afraid to confide in me and point them out.

With that, I now turn back to the past in order to prepare for the present and future. :-)

*******************************************

*******************************************

*******************************************

*******************************************

*******************************************

*******************************************

**********************************************************************************