Age? Possibly.
So as many who read this blog know, I went to the doctor and have had a battery of tests completed.
Found out I have psoriatic arthritis with cartilage degeneration in my joints as well as sciatica that simply cripples me sometimes. Yeah, yeah...everyone knows as I whine a lot about it. I'm trying not to do that as much any longer. But it is still there and I fall into the trap now and then. And if someone asks about it, I won't lie and play it down. It hurts. It is painful and it affects my daily life now with not much to cure things other than a regiment of vitamins, better eating and less activity.
This does not sit well with me. I should be able to do more at this age.
This graph below shows how children are affected by psoriatic arthritis. Not as many as the others and this is what I have lived with for most of my life now.
This has followed me to adulthood and beyond.
Now, as I approach the half century mark in a few years, it is making itself known every day.
The Rum Run on Sunday spoke loudly to me about the progression of this on my body and now what I must do in order to combat it, other than the taking of extra vitamins,etc.
SLOW DOWN!!!!!
Seriously. I have been running way too fast as of late. Sure, I was able to run faster a few years ago and can still maintain a 7:00/mile pace on a 10K and even half if I really wanted to. But the resulting week and longer of joint and sciatic pain are simply not worth it. OK, I'm stubborn. I run faster than I should and pay for it. Sunday taught me a LOT about my body and that it is getting older. it is breaking down. No, I'm not decrepit and on the verge of being hobbled. No, I'm NOT giving up running. But I will admit that I just will have to slow down and not run as fast. Not as far. Perhaps, not even as often, if it is going to do this to my joints. It is not an easy pill to swallow. Especially when I see others older than myself running not only faster speeds, but full marathons AT those speeds. It makes me sad that at age 47 I cannot compete any longer without being in pain.
Slogans like this really irritate me....
Really? Seriously?? What do I gain by running in pain? Another medal that hangs on my wall for my age group? I only have a few and treasure them but they just hang there. What do I gain by running 26.2 or 13.1 miles and then becoming incapacitated for weeks afterwards? Nothing. I have to go to work like others and hence one more reason I cannot and will not run full marathons any more
This is not a put down to anyone running them nor to those running in pain to accomplish said races. I respect and admire those who can do such things. I just no longer see myself running such distance or speeds. Therefore, the rest of this year is devoted to running
SLOWER.
Yes, slower.
Am I a weakling due to slowing down? Some may think so. I know some who might say I'm not training enough, or I'm not mentally up to the challenge. That I need to see this therapist or that trainer. (actually, I HAVE seen therapists and doctors a plenty). Or the kicker...that I'm not really a runner unless I do X amount of miles or sessions a week. (Yes, there are a few who think that, unfortunately) Well....in the past I would have used a few choice words with that but it does not good and that is the old James. I'm different now. So they can think what they like.
The last two races I'm signed up for are half marathons. Sure, I'll be running them. But NOT at higher speeds. I'm going to enjoy them at a pace that will allow me to function afterwards and to be a human being without pain.
It truly is necessary for me do so and to focus on the enjoyment of the running, the health benefits of it as well as the wonderful social interaction I receive when getting together with my friends and family for such events. THIS is one aspect I shall cherish and treasure: the social parts.
From now on I will try my best to run slower and to keep these joints and body parts from hurting so much.
To enjoy the run, the afterglow of the run and the fellowship I have with my running family.
To enjoy the healthy aspects of running and what it brings me in the way of endorphins,etc.
To use running as a meditation and mini vacation from the world to look at my inner self.
Getting older is not always a bad thing. Some folks make it seem like that though and I refuse to be one of those. But, I'm also a realist in many ways and that keeps me grounded mentally and physically. The pain is real, not imaginary. I won't take man made meds for it unless the pain is so intense I cannot function. And that does happen sometimes. I try to focus on the POSITIVE aspects
of everything I can and to make it work for ME.
As for my running friends and family....go out and do what you can and enjoy it!!!!! I love how all of my running peeps are progressing so well in their racing and training. it makes me smile to see them doing well and enjoying the life that is running. May they prosper even more as time goes on. :-)
As I age, I enjoy life more and more. Every day is a blessing for me and I cherish the time I have had and that in front of me. Hopefully many more years of running as well as pain free days.This is a quote I have always found appropriate...
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