My Bucket list: before 30 and after!! Oh my ;-)

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                                                                  This trend over the last decade of making a Bucket List is an interesting social goal. As far back as I can remember, there never were "bucket lists" until, say, 1995 or so. At least in my own little world, shrouded in ultra conservative thinking, doctrine and oppression. When the first rumblings of this started to appear, my first thoughts were of the reading lists of Desert Island Discs or records one would take to a deserted island or planet. Always for fun yet seriously thought out by all of us. I still retain many of those lists in the mess of grey matter between my ears and love the idea still. Then, along come Bucket Lists.

And of course, as most know, the term was coined to be for things accomplished before "kicking the bucket" and dying. Yeah, not the most positive of thoughts, yet a very appealing form of goal setting that took hold and spawned many articles, books, a Hollywood film and hosts of other social media based applications. Popular indeed!
This soon took root and spread around the globe, whisking everyone with it and becoming THE thing to do. Make a Bucket List. Well, as a man who seems to always get to the dance late, or even after everyone has gone home, this is one I also never latched on to till now. Late, as usual.
But, this is OK as since I'm still alive and have, hopefully, years to go, never mind. This brings me to my own Bucket List!!! These are a combination of things I'd like to actually go do and other more life choices and events.


As my Internet searches, questions with friends and family as well as simple deduction of a simple mind progressed, I saw many lists that were all inclusive of a life lived and still ahead to be explored.
This is not how I wanted my own list to be produced. My feeling was that the list should be divided into two parts, those of goals I had when young and forging ahead to thirty years old and those afterwards. Granted, some of this list would be fuzzy due to the obvious time between thinking these up. Yet, there is a cohesive structure to it and I wanted to look back and see what I had accomplished in those intervening years . This, therefore, is a list I came up with for the early years and then, those after thirty. The X next to the goal means it was accomplished and achieved and an O that I did not. Onward this goes...

Bucket List of goals I wanted to meet before my thirtieth year of life:

Graduate high school-X                                             Get out of school in one piece-X :-P
Understand one language other than English-X         Go to and graduate from college-O
Take some college courses or classes-X                     Lose my virginity-X
Get married-X                                                             Travel to Europe-X
Stay at a job longer than ten years-X                          Read most of the English classics-O
Become a published poet-O                                        Travel to the East Coast-O
Have $10,000 in my savings-O                                   Play an instrument well-O
Become an Extra class ham radio operator-O             Learn how to cook better-X
Keep a journal/diary-X                                               Come out of the closet as bisexual-O
Leave my religion-O                                                   Still be healthy-X

Well, there is the list that I remember well.  Sure, there must have been some I've forgotten. So what.
It is what it is and that's all the past. And I actually DID accomplish some of those above. Granted, my life was a bit of a structured and organized mess. I didn't have much time to do many of these things as the religious group I was in took most of that. I'm not going to blame it for these things but it was a factor, robbing me of a LOT of years of time. After the age of thirty, things eventually changed, allowing me more options. Really though, look at that list: I'm rather proud of the accomplishments there and how early I was able to get them done compared to some of my friends and family. :-)

With that list now done, this next is what I wanted to achieve AFTER that defining age of thirty.
Yes, I really did want to do certain things before that age but we didn't call them "bucket lists" then, which was in the early 90's. Some of the things not accomplished on the first list will be repeated as I added them afterwards, of course. Just took some extra time. Also, there are some things on the Bucket List of many people that are intimate, private or simply not spoken of due to taboo subject matter or embarrassment. They purposely leave these off the list. I'm not afraid of that any longer. I don't have the modesty I once did. So, I shall include some of them.


But, I'm not going to go overboard with this as the list would be too long and I simply do not want to type them all out. But,I don't compromise my thoughts as much as I once did and now am a lot more open and free to be MYSELF. And, I will not apologize for being me, like I used to. It was a learning experience and a tough one but years of this has taught me so much. Here is the Bucket List for AFTER thirty! A * denotes goal met after 40



Starting with duplicates:

Become an Extra class ham operator-X*             Travel to the East Coast-X
Play an instrument well-X *                                 Become a published poet-X*
Leave my religion-X*                                           Come out of the closet as bisexual-X*

Granted, many of these took place after forty as the catalyst in achieving many of this list were due to leaving the religious organization, thereby leaving me with a lot more time, energy and open mindedness to do so. So...continuing the list...

Work on and detail my family tree-X                 Study at least a year of a new language-X
Come out as polyamorus/open-X*                      Pay off all debts-X*
Meet new and exciting people-X                        Go to an adult toy store-X
Have a threesome-X*                                          Have a boyfriend-X*
Go to a gay bar/nightclub-X                                Be published (non poetry)-X*
Play my Stratocaster in public-O                        Play my shakuhachi in public-X*
Become a freelance photographer-X                   Fly in a Leer jet-X
Ride in a Rolls Royce AND Bentley-O              Travel to San Francisco-O
Memorize a poem from Edna Millay-X              Memorize a poem by Walt Whitman-O
Get a tattoo-X*  (yeah, more than one)               Grow a beard-X*
Have a foursome-X*                                            Own every Cary Grant film-X*
Grow my hair long-O                                          Smoke a cigar and pipe-X* (Ewwww, Ick)
Celebrate my birthday-X*                                   Celebrate holidays (selected)-X*
Pierce my left ear-X*                                           Wear a kilt-X*
Wear a tweed suit-X*                                           Visit my ancestors village in Wales-O
Study Buddhist philosophy-X*                            Learn to meditate-X*
Have sex in the outdoors/forest-O                        Have a traditional Japanese tattoo done-O
Volunteer at a homeless shelter-O                        Play with a shakuhachi ensemble-O
Spend a week at a Zen Buddhist retreat-O           Go to Japan-O
Travel to each continent-O                                   Visit a tea plantation in India & Japan-O
Have season tickets to a symphony orchestra-X   Play in an orchestra-O
Go to a sex club-X*                                              Visit Mesa Verde-Anasazi ruins-O
Play Native American flutes-X                             Win a moustache competition-X
Meet Itzhak Perlman-X                                         Go to a Mahler concert in London-X*
Go to Vienna-X                                                     See the Alps-X
Own an Omas Arco fountain pen-X                     Have penpals around the globe-X
Spend a month in Provence-O                              Have sex in a car/vehicle-X*
Listen to the Mozart Requiem Mass, live-O         Go to Mahler's grave-O

                                                                Running list

Place first overall in a 5K race-O               Place first in my age in a 5K/10K/half marathon-X*
Run a full marathon-X*                              Run a trail race-O
Run a relay race-O                                      Run the London,Cardiff,Edinburgh and Berlin marathon-O
Run a sub 7:00/mile half marathon-O           Run a sub 6:00/mile 5K-O
Win a Masters( over 40) award at a race-X*-


Whew!!  These are the things I know full and well I have wanted as my bucket list. Sure, it is not near as long as some I've read. One person I know has a thousand on it. Ok, that's cool. And I wish that person the best of luck. No doubt, as time moves on, there will be new things added to the bucket list. And yes, I'm sure there are plenty who will read this and say..."I didn't need to know that about him,". Well, tough! This is/was what was on my list and I'm not ashamed of any of them at all. No apologies, no regrets. And that being said, I look forward to accomplishing the others on it as I get the chance. Some will be tough for sure. All I know is that the odds are good for many of them and I will see where the list is about five years from now,  There it is. Some secrets revealed that are new, some that are not, some that are making the reader wince and some that make them smile. :-)

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