The 60's: my memories

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                                                           As this year passes and I get closer to that magic number of  fifty years old, my recollections of the earliest years becomes much more pronounced and detailed. Usually for most the memories fade as we get older but I seem to be having rather vivid recollections of my first decade on this planet. After watching the documentary on The Sixties on Netflix, many more images came to me from those days and how privileged I was to have lived in the area I did, at the time I did. That entire area near Los Angeles was part of world history!

                                                                 I was born in 1966, just after some of the most monumental events in this country had occurred. From JFK to the Civil Rights bill and then Vietnam's beginnings, the British Invasion,etc. These were a scant few years before but my beginnings were to be affected by them and the remaining four years of that most incredible decade. And, being in southern California, the Long Beach/Los Angeles area then, it was a hot bed of history making events. My earliest recollections of the actual events as they unfolded date to my second year. That amazing year of 1968 was one that I DO remember , though sure it is scattered and mainly from news programs then, a lot with Walter Cronkite and other anchors. And of course, my family life memories are there as we lived in Long Beach at that time, visiting Los Angeles (only a few miles away) often to see and do things. My brother came along that year and things in my household changed a wee bit. But the memories still flowed. My parents were not the type to be involved in protests or civil disobedience as my father was in college and then holding down a job with little time for those events. Mum was taking care of us as the world around us changed so much. The music scene in that area I was raised was amazing and I only wish I could have been an adult to appreciate it then as I do now. I would fit right in just perfectly!           ******Flower power, Love ins, beach parties, etc.*******

Sure, I would have had the VW van and traveled all over, making it to Woodstock where I would see and hear my idols like Hendrix play. Probably would have protested the war and been among those in the civil rights marches as well.
Looking back at the times then and comparing them to now, it is clear things are a bit stagnant now. Not that we need social upheaval to make things interesting nor would I want to give up what I have now, not at all. But damn, where is that time machine!!?? As for the music now compared to then (classical and Celtic aside), there isn't even a remote similarity. :-(


There were certain memories I have from then still jumping out at me: Hollywood, Sunset Strip, the beaches, The Pike, oil rigs all over, Signal Hill, The Queen Mary in 1969, going to Tommy's in Los Angeles off Rampart for burgers and chili dogs! Movie stars went there all the time! This was a special place for me and I have gone back more than a few times in my visits to LA ever since then.

 The Long Beach Tommy's was a mecca for my parents as their high school (Wilson) was a few blocks away. So they both have special meaning. Mum and dad always loved a good burger! Don't most of us? :-)

The Pike was a wonderland and amusement park in Long Beach that , to be honest, kicked ass!! Alas, it was torn down in 1979 but in it's heyday, especially 1965-72, it was amazing. The roller coaster, The Cyclone, went out over the water. I remember going here and having a blast!

As the 70's approached and the country was in a state of confusion as to where to go next, things were up in the air. Politically it was a mess and Nixon was not helping things with his policies . Johnson had done some amazing and needed things , changing this country with his signed bills yet the war was on TV every day. This I remember well.
And it would be a few more years of that till we left that mess in Asia and came home. That is a low point in American history and in my chats with many, many Vietnam vets over the years I have gained a lot of perspective regarding what happened there and in detail. It has made me reflect a lot.

The music scene in southern California was where it was at! Sure, the British Invasion was a huge moment in history but where did so many go after 1965? So Cal! It was a total West Coast scene and both LA and San Francisco were THE places to be in these years. I can be proud to say I was there in those days albeit a youngster. Unfortunately I didn't make it to San Francisco till last year and was only then able to appreciate Haight-Ashbury, The Castro, Berkeley and the legendary locations from that magnificent city! Need to go back to California soon!

When the 70's arrived, things changed a lot. Gas lines, tax increases, war still raging, gangs getting worse and life in LA was really changing , not for the better. My parents wanted a change from that and for us boys. So they sold everything and in 1974 packed up for Montana with very little, to start a new life in the country. Sure, we were sad to leave in many ways but a new adventure was beginning for us and one that would shape us, mould us into even better men. Montana was a literal breath of fresh air and would transform city kids into country boys through fishing,hunting, and other Montana based cultural events. More on those years another time.
but I would never forget those early years in California and what they meant to me. They mean a lot to me now as I reflect back and catch myself re-living the music and art from then. Especially the music! As I type this post, Jimi Hendrix plays in the background with many other delights to play after such as Led Zeppelin, Janis Joplin, The Doors,etc. Sure, many reading this will remember a different time but these are the memories of this Seumas. And I'll indulge in them!! Now I need a Hendrix T-shirt! :-)

Side note and update: Running is out for now as my right calf heals from a ligament/muscle problem, hopefully soon for the Rum Run and Vancouver Half are approaching quickly. Will add more on Facebook and Twitter as things get better.
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My mum's battle. Please read.

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                                                                   The last post here showcased an inspirational figure of mine and how he has helped guide me on my path of life over the last seven years. This post though, introduces a more pivotal figure and one that has always been a lifelong inspiration: my mother.

 Since my earliest days in the mid 60's, she has always been there for me and raised me, along with my father, to be a decent human being and to always love others, never judge, be as kind as possible and just enjoy life. She has had her ups and downs like we all have through living in these times and is no more immune than anyone else. Yet she always struggled along with little complaining and with a positive attitude, doing the best she could to raise my brother and me. We were actually not trouble makers during the teen years and didn't cause them much grief. At least I don't think we did. :-P Better ask her that if you want to. Nonetheless, here we are in 2016 and time has marched on to the drum of progress.


                                                              Yet, some things seem to stay constant and with my mum, one thing she has always fought in her life is weight control. She knows this full well as do millions of others around the globe. No matter what the reasons are for it, the battle still exists and is fought, whether in the home, work or hospital room. This was a battle my mum had been fighting for a long time, near on 60+ years and it never seemed to get any better. Sure, there were some times where she lost a bit here and there, making the world a bit better. But that does not always make the self confidence go up with the loss of the pounds. She struggled with that as well. yet she did her best and still does. At almost 70 years of age, it sure gets a LOT tougher .

                                                                     Since the year 2008, when my father passed on from this present world, she has had a fight not only with her weight, but with diabetes, MS and various other ailments that put her in the emergency room more times than I can count. We nearly lost her many of those times, preparing ourselves for such a sad event. But, she hung in there and fought. Eventually things stabilized and she moved to a retirement/senior complex and life changed considerably.
She was on a large dose of insulin every day, many times daily, had to take a handful of medications and was in constant pain. I truly wondered how much more she could take. She still kept smiling,though. Even at over 400 pounds, she smiled...

This photo at right shows that smile despite the weight and health issues. No, she didn't like her body nor those problems but didn't let that get her down . Sure, she had bad days like we all do. Still moved forward. This photo was taken in December of 2014, about 16 months ago.








                                                               
                                                                    Then, in January of 2015, my mum decided she'd had enough. She started to change some things in her life and was determined not to end her life here in this way, being super sick and feeling lousy. She knew for her (not all are this way) that the weight was a big part of her health problems. Some people have no health issues with extra weight or obesity problems and that's simply wonderful! As long as they are comfortable and love themselves, more power to them! <3 But mum knew she wanted to change for more than those listed above. So she started a dietary modification and began to watch all she took in. She started to exercise, to move more and to visit the Dr when she could. Mind you, I didn't state this till now, but my mum has been wheelchair and scooter bound since 2008, so this was not an easy things to do. She could hardly move up and down and had major pain if she did, even falling down many times requiring assistance from the fire dept or myself,family to get her up safe and to the hospital.

                                                                    She was done with that! No more! And so as she swept through 2015, she watched things change. Her weight started to go down, she saw a change in her health as it dropped and she exercised more. She still needed and will for years, a caregiver daily. But the journey down the new path was proving very positive and making her feel so much better. Nothing says that a person requiring a caregiver need be ill, in super poor health or be at death's door. Not at all. Some just cannot do the normal things in life due to age or disabilities. Now, speed along to the present, the last few months. Mum has been doing a tremendous job in watching her health and maintaining the Dr visits, medications and tests. This has enabled her to lose a LOT of weight since that above photo. In fact, she now has dropped from 400+ pounds to 264 lbs as of this last week!                                               Think about that: 136+ pounds lost in 15 months!

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Now look at her! She has even been able to drop back her insulin by more than half and is able to stand sometimes. She still needs a wheelchair, scooter and a walker, not being able to stand most of the time due to very bad joints and knees. This will never change and makes the need for a caregiver a lifelong one. But damn, look at my mum! How grand is this!

I'm so amazingly proud of her it brings tears to my eyes and makes me happy. She has taken a potentially deadly situation and turned it around. Quite an achievement!!


I had wanted to post this awhile back but waited till more progress had been made. She knew I was going to post this but not HOW i would do so. Well, here it is mum. You are to be congratulated on what you have done and for the wonderful life you have made. Thank  you for all of your efforts in raising us and being the best mum in the world.

                                                                Love you!! <3 <3 <3

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Meeting the Dalai Lama

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                                                                    There are memories in our lives that seemingly stick around and do us no good at all. We try to get rid of them and they haunt or chase us till time makes them fade away. Then, there are those happy and positive memories that propel us to new adventures, journeys and change the way we think or feel. Perhaps they even change our lives. Three years ago next month, I had one of those incredible and positive moments when the Dalai Lama came to visit Portland and the local Buddhist university (yes, we have one as do a few other cities in the US).
The year before this, in 2012, I'd flown down to Los Angeles and Long Beach to attend his lecture with my good friend Jen. We had a great time there and were uplifted by the experience in seeing and hearing this delightful man and his wise words.

                                                                   In fact, even though he was quite a distance away, one could feel the energy from not only the Dalai Lama but the other wise humans on the stage. Sure, it was a special treat in getting to see Richard Gere (Hubba, hubba! ) there as well, but the following day's speeches were illuminating for sure. We walked away refreshed and enlightened! Fast forward to 2013! In early January of that year it was announced that the Dalai Lama would be visiting Portland and the Maitripa College as well as a few other places, giving speeches in the area. I was excited beyond belief! So I made sure I had that time off from work and planned my schedule. Unfortunately, tickets for his University of Portland speech were sold out very quickly and I could not secure one. But, I had a chance to see hin that Friday at the college in SE Portland. Heading down there with my camera gear and high adrenaline, I was so ready. Amazingly, very few people were there to attend and see this wise man, listen to him speak. So I was there on the front line when he arrived.

He always seems to have so much energy and stamina, looking as fresh as usual. No doubt he took to the Portland weather fine. As he approached my direction, I snapped away, hoping for a closer meeting.

As I was not really one of those few selected to meet or greet HHDL, I knew the odds were very remote I would. He shook hands and greeted many dignataries and refugees and others from Tibet,Nepal and other countries from that area who had moved to the Pacific NW.





Then, he turned my way and walked towards me. That was when I "met" the Dalai Lama. Our eyes locked, smiles were exchanged and he continued on past me to enter the college and prepare for the events to soon take place. No, I didn't actually get to meet him, shake hands nor introduce myself.
None of that was to be and...that was just fine! My meeting actually DID happen and it was that locking of eyes, that smile shared, exchanged. Almost like a transference of that energy from himself to me. That radiance that he projected, the energy and positive kindness which surrounded him and the crowd...that was amazing indeed! Only a few feet away from one of the most amazing humans I have "met". That being said, I was pretty well set for the day, week, month and lifetime that I'd been allowed to experience this.

The reason I typed this post up three years later: that visit still resonates with me, still makes me smile and is a part of who I am today. This Seumas Dòmhnal who has changed so much over the last five years truly appreciates all he has, all of those he is privileged to meet and know, to love and be with. As each day continues in this life I lead now, I cannot help but be thankful for so much!

                                                    Namaste, and love to all! <3

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April and beyond...

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                                                       Today marks the last day of March and the beginning of some delightful times ahead. The last six months have been a wild ride of highs and lows which are not the type of roller coaster one likes to be on. Car wrecks,sickness,money issues,etc. They all lead to more stress and needless worry. This is where I have failed in sticking to my Buddhist and meditative studies as well as mindfulness. not they had disappeared but I simply didn't practice much and for that am sad.

                                                         Yet the great thing about life and new starts is exactly that...we always have a do over. :-) And April ,well rather right now, my do over has started, There are many parts of this outline and they include adjustments to meditative time, more running/walking meditation, Buddhist philosophical study, reading, music playing and dietary changes. The latter is crucial after the last six months of weight gain and a bit of lackadaisical attitude. Hoping to drop twenty pounds if possible and most of all, get my mind back to where it was before.

                                                 Less of the daily stress and more of this?

Or maybe more of this:

Yep. Unplug in some ways. Spend more time inside my heart and mind and not on media, TV, etc?

Tough thing to do all at once but I will give it a slow try.

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Next week will mark a turning point in my life. I'm not going to reveal the details just yet as I want things to be in place before doing so but it will change me in many ways yet also affirm some things already known to some. I shall leave it at that and will announce it on here and Facebook on Tuesday, April 5th in the afternoon. Till then, have a great weekend!!

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Guilt and life's changes.

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                                                                As the year moves on and schedules, work and experiences change our outlooks on life, we sometimes discover things that might have seemed impossible previously. And if we all had a crystal ball for future events, none would use it for bad things but positive events and riches, health,etc. Either way, life hits us in various ways with it's fists,slaps or the much appreciated hugs and kisses. Sometimes love and passion visit and those are glorious times indeed. No matter what block of years we are living, sometimes that proverbial light bulb turns on and we simply "get it" or understand our situation in the river of time. After all, we only have so many years to live this current life here. For me, a few moments this year can be called such understandings.

                                                 The primary one involves my running. No need to go into my running history nor the last few years of dealing with health issues, primarily psoriatic arthritis and sciatica. Add the aging process and it's been a more difficult thing to do , getting progressive as well. Like most runners I know, especially the competitive ones, it is difficult to stay inside, to heal or to deal with any health issues that involve our beloved running. Over the last two years I have watched and felt my mileage and speed drop as the body adjusts to the above mentioned issues. Not easy, I assure you. And the guilt....oh the guilt. Yes, there is guilt associated with this, for sure. How, you would ask?  This should come as no surprise to a runner: guilt at NOT getting out to run, not racing and NOT going to social events. Ok, perhaps there are some who just don't feel guilt at not running, but damn, I sure do. If I don't get out for a run, I feel horrible. I feel like I'm completely letting my body, soul and psyche down. Letting my friends down when I'm not at a group run or event. Sad and pathetic ,isn't it?

This is what I feel when I don't run. When I don't cycle. When I don't DO SOMETHING. The sad part is that I'm also hurting physically when this happens, it not only being an emotional or psychological effect, How in the hell does it happen!! I have been laid up with an injury that took me out for a month or two and I physically couldn't run. Those are bad but at least easier as I couldn't run. But when I CAN run yet suffer when doing it, the problem is so different. Hence the quandary I have found myself in.

Guilt? Yep. So, this leads to a lot of soul searching, of making internal decisions that one can shout out or keep personal,silent. You all know me...silence is not something I'm good at. I chatter, blabber and talk a LOT. So sure, the pain and problems I have been facing are out there. So, where does this lead me?                                            

                                                            Right to this point...now...here.


I'm slowing down when a lot of my friends and running pals of the same age are speeding up. That is tough to watch. I will be fifty years old this year and I'm totally loving life for the most part. But the running is starting to catch up to me and I'm simply not able to be as fast, run as far nor to be at all events. It hurts too much or is not at a time I can go. Hence...guilt.  But my light bulb moment has arrived and this blog post is part of the coming-to-terms with it aspect. I need to let that guilt go.
Need to tell myself that it is OK to NOT run when it hurts. To not be so conscious of my weight and concerned if I can't run a half marathon at a particular time or hit a 7:50/pace (not often any more at all). Just to let it go.

                                            Be happy I'm running and doing as well as I am.


                                            Be happy I have the desire to do so.

                                       
                                 Be happy for the medals,wins,paces,mileage,records and things achieved.                                                                  

                                            And to just not be so guilt ridden when I don't run, don't get out. Enjoy the things I do inside or in other aspects of my wonderful life, such as music, history, heritage and family,


                     For goodness sake Seumas...get over it!!  Others don't seem to have this hang up.

                                      This now being said, typed and out there....I shall try much harder.

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                                             And to close this I will say that there is some news coming up in a few weeks that is big for me. Some know what it is and it's a bit of old news. Some won't care, some will and others just think of it as a non issue. So when that day comes, I will announce it. Till then, be assured that life is grand, going to get better and little will stop me from being positive,happy and proud to be who I am:                
                                                            Seumas Dòmhnal Ross


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Spring arrives!

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                                     Hard to believe the last post here was in late January. So an update is in order for the last month and a half, for sure. Fortunately, all has been rather good. The last of the car accident nonsense has been taken care of and all loans,settlements and paperwork is complete,allowing us to put these accidents behind us. The new car is running great and no issues to report, making the upcoming spring and summer's travel plans something to really look forward to!                  This car is a beauty and it's the best car I have ever owned! Complete package!

At 30,000 miles, it is barely broken in and runs so smoothly. Needless to say, I'm over protective of this car after the last year of automobile accidents inflicted on my cars by others. Moving on...

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                                        Primary focus the last two months has been getting my Welsh language skills back to where they were in early 2014 and 2015. This time I have fully immersed myself by tackling not only Say Something in Welsh again but also Duolingo, an online language learning program that is a delight to use. I'm currently on level 7 with Duolingo and lesson 6 on SSIW. Sure, it is taking time to get back to the point I was at but I'm doing this at a slower pace and not rushing things, keeping myself from burning out and giving up..No matter what, I seem to always return to it and learn when I can. Also trying to get the Portland/Vancouver Welsh group back on track if possible and have some meetups. Been able to find a few Welsh speaking Facebook friends though no real practice as so few are chatty on that form of social media, so I need to find a daily Welsh chat pal. What is cool is that Dena has decided to learn some Welsh with me and for that I'm grateful! <3

*********************************************************************************Running season has started! Though I will admit I'm a bit cautious of this years running and going to be reevaluating my various goals for the year and where I fit in to the grand scheme. This year I was accepted as a Fleet Feet Ambassador and am volunteering some time to promote the company and their races, events and products. I have always liked Fit Right/ Fleet Feet and been shopping there since I started running back in 2008, so this makes for a nice change. 

In addition to the Fleet Feet news, I was able to run the Fort Vancouver 12k to start the season, and was happy with the results. This time I went out slower and kept my pace at 8:50/mile or so instead of the fast 7:40 I seem to run, which always makes me tired so quickly. I might finally be learning!

Enjoyed a great race and afterwards the rain and storm hit us, drenching everyone! Next up: The Blooms to Brews Half marathon in Woodland! Am I ready for a half marathon right now? Honestly, no. I have almost a month to prepare and get the body ready for this so I have confidence. I've gained some weight over the winter and NEED to lose about 20 lbs or so to be back to preferred running size. It's a question of keeping the carbs low and THAT is not easy.  I LOVE my breads,pastas and carbs! I did make a promise not to drink any beer till April 1st so that is helping . I think. :-)

That is the update for now!! Have a great March and will be back here soon!

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Changes

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                             Change is something we all deal with, whether good or bad. This isn't the place to post a definition about that or the reasons why people in general change things on their own. But, sometimes change is a necessary thing and that can be good for some,bad or indifferent for others.
I've learned that change can be educational, functional, deliberate and positive. Sure, there are the negative changes too, such as car accidents and the usual roller coasters in life. The changes I'm referring to are those we make ourselves for the betterment of our lives and hearts. Some might not agree with our changes, methods, reasons or appearances. Yet, does it really matter what others viewpoints are when we make changes that are positive and healthy for ourselves? Not really. :-)
So, with that I now make some changes that will make some wonder why and to also negate a few goals I had last month on this blog.

                                The first is a rather monumental change to some and no big deal to others. Those who read my Facebook post last week about my name will know this already but many do not. I was given the delightful Scottish name James Donald Ross, passed down from my father's lineage of his family name and other Scottish names, such as Donald , James, Patrick and other Celtic forms. I love this name and have no intention of ever being anyone but this same person. Yet I have always desired something that gave a nod to my heritage in a different way and one that made me "unique", one that brought to mind the man as well as the heritage and interest in my family. And as the Scottish Gaelic version of James Donald Ross is Seumas Dòmhnal Ross, it seemed a fitting way to make a change without petitioning the courts for such measures. The Common Law way of name changing is using the new name in all ways possible except official government and legal documents unless desired, which can also be done via a notarized form stating so. Simply using the new name in what I do is all that is needed or encouraged. So, I find this change to be something that is positive, new and a delightful way to show my heritage and love of things Scottish as well as a nod to my family. The name Seumas, which is pronounced SHAY-MUSS, is not very common here like James (which is the same name,just in a different language, like James and Santiago in Spanish) and the middle name is still Donald without the ending D, so Donal.  Therefore, the name I will be using is Shay-Muss Donal. Sure, many will still call me James, and that is perfectly fine. And it will take some time getting used to writing Seumas in place of James. But what a wonderful change this is for me! So far many of my friends have started to call me Seumas and I love how it draws attention. Say James in a crowd and ten men raise their hands. Say Seumas (SHAY-MUSS, not sea muss) and I'll pretty much be the only one. Thank you in advance for recognizing this and changing with me!!

                                              https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seumas

                In addition to the name change, many have noticed my hair getting a lot longer. This was originally a Bucket List goal of not cutting my hair for a year and I'm only three months away from that goal. Now I find myself LOVING the new length and style. For the most part. Yeah, it takes a lot longer to deal with and style as well as take care of but very much worth it. And looks good on me I think. I have nothing but positive comments and that means a lot.
So, the hair continues to grow and get longer as well as curly. Never knew I had such curly hair as I'd never had it this long in all my 49 years! The new hair as well as name change does wonders!!


And, as a minor twist to last month's list of goals for 2016, a revision: German language studies are OUT. No time nor practice partners have been secured nor do I have as much time for that.

 And learning Tamuke on the shakuhachi is now out as I tackle Celtic music for flutes as a primary goal for the year. I can still use my shakuhachi to play Celtic music (Scottish,Welsh, Irish) and will be studying Larry Tyrrell's (my shakuhachi teacher a few years back) book "The Alder Bough" as a guide to get me going. My interest in Celtic music has always been there but till now largely unstudied. Along with the shakuhachi I'll be using and playing my tin whistles and hopefully a new transverse flute soon.

                                                   Wish me luck!!!

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